Lessons From My First 50 Years
What I Learned In My First 50 Years
My goodness, 50 years…
For the first time, I just acknowledged one of my most important milestones. Sure, age is just a number. Or is it something bigger? The funny thing is that I don’t feel my age. Well, technically as I write this post, I’m still in my 40s. But I’ll be graduating from this decade in just a few more days.
With all of the adversity I’ve had to overcome in my first 50 years, I like to think of myself as a resilience mentor.
From an early age, I taught myself to overcome disappointments, challenges, and setbacks. Of course, all the details can be read in my first published book, Keep Those Feet Moving, which has more intimate thoughts and insights into my life.
I don’t know about you, but turning 50 gives you the perfect chance to hit life’s reset button.
But before I hit that button, I think it’s important to share some additional thoughts as I reflect through mistakes and triumphs. I’ve made plenty of mistakes & looked down on myself in shame.
Some mistakes were barely noticeable while others were detrimental to my success.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always strived for perfection. My intent was simple: to take away any leverage anyone has against me. It’s my way of protecting myself from fear, harm, and pain.
Through the years of maturity and self-reflection, I realized that — no matter the circumstances, no matter the odds — there is only one direction: forward.
No matter the obstacles that stand in my way — the struggles, the fears — as long as I keep those feet moving, I have a fighting chance.
Life has a way of testing you every day. How you respond determines your next move, your destiny. Take my word for it: The future isn’t fully written yet. There’s time to change it, but it’s up to you to make it happen.
I believe people come into our lives for a purpose.
Every person you encounter — whether it’s someone you meet momentarily or someone who becomes a lifelong friend — has a unique role to play in your life. You may not understand their
significance or recognize their purpose at first, but there is a hidden reason why you were destined to meet.
Some people stay for a moment, others stay for years- but each carries a purpose that shapes us in ways we don't always recognize until much later. And sometimes, when those connections
fade, we feel the weight of what was lost.
One of my biggest mistakes in life is that I lost connection with many of my college friends. Like you (I hope!), I often think about my college years with fond memories.
Attending the University of Florida was among the most amazing four years of my life, and yet — even as I stare down 50 — it seems like it was only yesterday.
When I graduated, social platforms didn’t exist. Even email wasn’t like it is today. As I ventured out west for graduate school, I lost touch with just about everyone from UF — including my Tau Epsilon Phi fraternity brothers.
Years later, I reconnected with a bunch of those guys through Facebook. Even so, there’s a feeling that the opportunity to rekindle those friendships may have passed by.
Perhaps I can change that by reaching out to each of my brothers to reconnect broken friendship links.
Why I wrote Keep Those Feet Moving.
When I wrote my book, I had an audience of one in mind: my daughter. I wanted to create something that would help her learn who I am and also learn about her mother’s illness.
Little did I know at the time of writing, it was more than a memoir. It was a therapeutic breakthrough for me — the first time I openly discussed growing up with a hearing impairment and the profound impact it had on my personal development.
For my entire childhood and throughout my adulthood, I was ashamed, embarrassed to wear hearing aids. I worried how others would perceive me — including when it came to dating and employment opportunities.
At the time of the book release, I finally acknowledged and accepted that a hearing impairment is something I have. But it doesn’t define who I am.
So who am I? Great question — one that I would have answered differently years ago.
But today, I can answer with confidence.
I am someone who took a disability and made it a superpower, using internal strength to overcome my fears.
I am blessed to have rediscovered faith in recent years, letting it guide me through moments of uncertainty and project calmness when I need it most.
I have become so strong mentally that no one can make me feel inferior again. I am AJ, and I am proud of who I am!
As I celebrate my first 50 years, here are some lessons I’ve learned.
As my 50th birthday approaches, I figured there’s no better time than now to share some of the key lessons I’ve learned over the years. I hope you find at least one of them helpful.
Don’t let others define you. Instead, tune out the noise to rise above any negativity. Allow yourself to soar to new heights. Propel yourself to greater triumphs.
Preach positivity throughout the day. Don’t let anyone take away your joy. Smile and laugh. Own your happiness.
Run your own marathon. Don’t try to run a race that’s not for you. Run at your own pace, and focus on what you can control.
Always account for variable changes. There will always be obstacles along your journey through life. Embrace and channel your strength to overcome each challenge.
In life you are tested each day, pass the test and you move forward. But if you don’t pass immediately, stay in the same spot until you figure out how to overcome the obstacles you face.
Every day is a good day. This quote comes from my grandfather, who believed each day is a blessing, giving us an opportunity to change the world.
When it comes to mourning, keep those feet moving. Motion creates action, and action is the first step to healing.
Stay in faith and let it guide you each day. Turn over any issues, worries, and stress to a higher power. You’ll be amazed what happens next.