Celebrating 18 Years of Love, Laughter, and the Daughter who Inspires Me
It was a Friday morning, 18 years ago, when my daughter was born. Apple recently launched its first iPhone, skinny jeans were popular, often worn with oversized tops, and the pop-culture consisted of blockbuster movies such as Spider-Man 3 and Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix. Believe it or not, Blockbuster was still a weekly date night ritual to check out new movie releases. Just thinking of how much has changed since then, a whole new world has emerged.
My wife didn’t want to know the baby’s gender; she wanted it to be a surprise. To her, all that mattered was delivering a healthy baby. I respected her decision, after all, she was the one carrying the baby.
I remember weeks leading up to the birth the level of anticipation, excitement, and nervousness were all rolled in one. For me, not knowing the gender, I think added a little more anticipation as everyone kept asking me what my speculation would be. Like my wife, my primary concern was both my wife’s and baby’s health. However, in those weeks leading up, I had a strange dream one night, it was a glimpse into the future – three daughters.
“However, in those weeks leading up, I had a strange dream one night, it was a glimpse into the future – three daughters.”
The funny thing is that all the wives' tales pointed out that the baby would be a boy, so you can imagine our surprise it was a girl. Goes to show you that while predictability and statistics can be meaningful, it’s not definitive.
The realization that I would soon be a father was certainly eye-opening. At the time, I had a wife and dog that depended on me for everyday essentials and now, a little person will soon be too. In the past, all I had to be concerned about was me, now my responsibilities have expanded. I tried to think about my own father and how he prepared for my birth. Similar to us, my gender wasn’t known until I came out into the world.
You can read books, online resources, or even seek guidance from others on what to expect. But every knowledge and instinct you have goes out the window the moment your child is born, along with all the planning.
Eight weeks after our daughter was born, my wife was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. Fourteen months later, my wife passed, leaving me to raise our daughter as a single father.
To learn more about my life as a single father and how I persevered through all the heartaches and pain, I invite you to pick up a copy of my book, “Keep Those Feet Moving” on Amazon or visit my website under the same title.
Through the years, I’ve worked hard to create a life for my daughter that she can look back at her childhood with fond memories, stories, and laughter. I prioritized our quality time together whether it was through traveling, cheerleading, shopping, or simply hanging out. It didn’t matter what we did as long as she knew how much I loved her. And equally important, I reminded her that her mother is always spiritually with us and looking down at her with smiles as she is so proud of her. I’ll admit, sometimes I didn’t always get it right, but I used those teaching moments to be a better father.
From my daughter’s perspective, I can’t imagine what it’s like growing up without a mom. From an early age, she knew our household was different from her friends. Although many were accepting of our situation, at times, it felt we both were under a microscope as there were still skeptics wondering whether I could raise my daughter properly. Still we managed to make it work.
I am sure if you asked her for feedback on my parenting, she’ll probably gloat about how I always made her laugh as she was the only one that got to see the silly side of me. I’m naturally a reserved person who holds my emotions in, but around her, she gets to hear all my dad jokes. She’ll probably tell you that I was always there for her no matter the situation, event, or time. She may even tell you for the life of me that I can’t cook and how we always either dined out or brought food in. Or perhaps when she was younger, I dressed her in polo outfits and other matching outfits as I couldn’t color coordinate tops and bottoms. So I’d over spend on name brands just to make sure she was always in style even though she’d outgrow the clothes by the end of the season.
This past week I looked at endless photos and videos saved in the cloud. Tears swelled as I walked down memory lane. Where did time go? One moment, I was holding my daughter in my arms shortly after she was born, and now I’m watching her blow out candles on her 18th birthday. The time between is like a fast-forward button that finally reset to play.
“One moment, I was holding my daughter in my arms shortly after she was born, and now I’m watching her blow out candles on her 18th birthday. The time between is like a fast-forward button that finally reset to play.”
Recently, my daughter wrote a letter as part of her school assignment. When she gave it to me to read, I was touched and speechless. She thanked me for being her dad and called me her best friend. I asked her if she would make a copy of the letter so I can frame it as a reminder of how I touched her life as much as she’s touched mine.
Today, she and I are very close as she tells me everything. Some things I probably don’t want to hear, but I listen without judgement. I’d rather her openly share than not. Whatever the situation, issue, highlights shared, we are in this together.
The next milestone ahead is my daughter declaring her college choice within the next few weeks. It was bittersweet watching her select which universities to submit her applications. Of course, I have my personal preference, but it’s not for me to decide. She’s now a young adult, free to make her own decisions. Whatever she chooses, I’ll continue to support her as a proud dad.
Oh, remember when I mentioned earlier that I dreamt about having three daughters? Well, through a blended family, I proudly inherited two bonus-daughters. Who would have thought that a dream that gave me a glimpse into the future would become a reality. I guess you can say your dreams can predict the future.
“ Who would have thought that a dream that gave me a glimpse into the future would become a reality.”
As a parent, you spent your time and energy watching your child(ren) grow into young adults. With two bonus-daughters on the verge of college graduation, and my daughter set to graduate high school soon, I am often asked how I feel about all the upcoming changes. At first, I shrugged it off as more conversation based, but the more I think about it, I find myself excited for each of them. It’s now their journey, I can hope I’ve set them on the right path.
Life is an adventure with new pathways to explore. Sometimes the path may lead to dead-end, other times it leads to golden opportunities. One thing for certain, it’s always better to look ahead than look back.
My daughter’s 18th birthday is a special milestone for both of us. I am very proud of her and the young lady she’s become. But that doesn’t stop me from telling more dad jokes, I don’t think I'll ever be too old to hear them.
Thank you for reading, and “Keep Those Feet Moving”. If you liked this post, click the like button, and share your proud moments! If you want to pick up the book, here’s the direct link: Amazon - Keep Those Feet Moving.