The Empty Side of the Bed: Coping with Grief One Morning at a Time
The first thing I thought about in the morning is that my wife Cory wasn’t there. Just an empty space beside me. I listened for a moment, and the silence felt heavier than usual. Then the realization washed over me that she’s not coming back. That physical void never stops reminding you of the loss. Today’s post is about some gentle, practical ways to face that physical emptiness after losing someone you love.
The Physical Void Is Real - And It Hurts
Anytime there’s a loss, the physical void is often the hardest to comprehend. The absence of touch, their voice, the ability to share experiences together- it’s unsettling, overwhelming, and deeply emotional. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to pause. It’s okay to sit in bed a little longer. But eventually, the day begins. And each day you wake up, you’re faced with a choice- let the day pass you by, or take one small step toward healing. My grandfather coined the term, "every day is a good day." Today is no different. Here are seven gentle ways to help soften that shattering physical void:
Open up the curtains and let the light in.
Hiding in the darkness may feel easier, but it only deepens the weight you’re carrying. Natural light doesn’t solve everything, but it does bring warmth, comfort, and a reminder that the world is still turning, one morning at a time. Let the sun be your morning kiss. Let it lift you, even if by only one inch. Open those curtains and let the light come in. Hiding in the darkness doesn't make it any easier. It's avoidance and only brings more pain. Hiding doesn't solve struggles and it doesn't address the situation. On the other hand, the sun's rays shining on your face feels wonderful. Think of the warmth as your loved one giving you a morning kiss.
2. Move your body.
Take a walk. Stretch. Keep Those Feet Moving. The more physically active you are, the less time your mind has to wander into the darkest places. I think of physical movement as a transformation; each step is a small way to regain emotional strength. The harder you work at it, the stronger you feel. Go exercise. Take long walks. Keep those feet moving. The more physically active you are, the less time your mind has to wander. I think of physical exercise as a transformation - a way to gain emotional strength. The harder you work at it, the more strength you gain.
3. Spend more time with family and friends.
Avoiding people may feel safer, but it often makes grief heavier. Many people simply don’t know what to say so they step back, and in turn you may even feel more alone. Be mindful of the urge to isolate. It’s natural but it also works against the healing process. You don’t have to host big gatherings -just being around familiar voices can soften the silence. Spend more time socializing with family and friends. Avoiding the outside puts more strain on communication as many don't know how to react or what to say. Be mindful of the natural tendency to isolate yourself and fight against it. A common perception is that you’re supposed to sit at home with the shades drawn, in bed, crying all day. Maybe true, but only for the first few days. Social interactions break the eerie sounds of sudden silence surrounding you. Seeing familiar faces often softens the landing.
4. Find a hobby, something that sparks interest again.
It doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t have to be your “thing.” It just needs to be something. Rediscover an old passion or try something new. Hobbies give your mind a break from the heaviness and help rebuild the parts of your life that grief tried to take away. Find a hobby, something that you’re passionate about. It can be anything. Hobbies are great at passing time by and meeting new people. Rediscover your lost passion or try something exciting and new.
5. Accept help and don’t shut people out.
It’s tempting to stay in your own world when everything feels heavy, but letting others in (even just a little) can make a huge difference. Allow friends to stop by, let family drop off a meal, or simply receive a hug without brushing it off. You don’t have to carry this alone. Volunteer your time, write a blog, become a public speaker. Share your experiences with others and help them find their way. Not only are you doing a wonderful service but you’re helping yourself too. In case you hadn’t connected the dots, that’s how this blog started.
6. Stay busy, but with purpose.
The busier you are in meaningful ways, the less time your mind has to spiral. Fill your day with small tasks, connections, hobbies, errands, volunteering, or family time. When you end the night with the comfort of knowing: You made it through another day. And that alone is something to be proud of.
7. Volunteer or share your story.
Offer your time. Write. Speak. Help someone else find their way through their own darkness. Sharing your experiences doesn’t just serve others, it heals you too. That’s exactly how this blog began. Helping others became part of my own recovery. Stay busy. The busier you are, the less time your mind has to wander. Become so busy with your work, hobbies, errands, volunteering, family, and friends that by the end of the day you’re exhausted that you can easily fall asleep knowing you've made it through the day. Smile softly to yourself. A little tiny grin can bring a little peace and stability. Take deep breaths and exhale, which puts your entire mind and body into a relaxed state. A smile always brings comfort. I understand how difficult it may seem to incorporate some of these elements into your life. Trust me, you won’t regret it.
As always, please share your own feelings and insights in the comments. I’d also really appreciate it if you Like our page and share this post with others who might benefit. The more momentum we have, the more people of this world we can help. Fill the void and keep those feet moving.