How to Fill the Physical Void

The first thing I thought about in the morning is that my wife Cory wasn’t there. It was just an empty space beside me. I listened for a second, and it was noticeably quiet. Then the realization hit me full force, she is not physically coming back. Today’s post talks about some positive ways to fill the physical void of your lost loved one.

Anytime there’s a loss, the physical void is the most difficult to comprehend. The loss of touch, voice, and the ability to create new experiences together is unsettling, and deeply emotional.

It's okay to cry. It's okay to collect your thoughts. You can stay in bed a little longer. But the day must be begun. Each day you awake with two choices; let the day go to waste, or take advantage of every opportunity to seize the day. My grandfather coined the term, "every day is a good day." Today is no different. Here are 7 ways that can help you go about your life, by easing or distracting the pain of that shattering physical void.

1) Open those curtains and let the light come in. Hiding in the darkness doesn't make it any easier. It's avoidance and only brings more pain. Hiding doesn't solve struggles and it doesn't address the situation. On the other hand, the sun's rays shining on your face feels wonderful. Think of the warmth as your loved one giving you a morning kiss.

2) Go exercise. Take long walks. Keep those feet moving. The more physically active you are, the less time your mind has to wander. I think of physical exercise as a transformation - a way to gain emotional strength. The harder you work at it, the more strength you gain.

3) Spend more time socializing with family and friends. Avoiding the outside puts more strain on communication as many don't know how to react or what to say. Be mindful of the natural tendency to isolate yourself and fight against it. A common perception is that you’re supposed to sit at home with the shades drawn, in bed, crying all day. Maybe true, but only for the first few days. Social interactions break the eerie sounds of sudden silence surrounding you. Seeing familiar faces often softens the landing.

4) Find a hobby, something that you’re passionate about. It can be anything. Hobbies are great at passing time by and meeting new people. Rediscover your lost passion or try something exciting and new.

5) Volunteer your time, write a blog, become a public speaker. Share your experiences with others and help them find their way. Not only are you doing a wonderful service but you’re helping yourself too. In case you hadn’t connected the dots, that’s how this blog started.

6) Stay busy. The busier you are, the less time your mind has to wander. Become so busy with your work, hobbies, errands, volunteering, family, and friends that by the end of the day you’re exhausted that you can easily fall asleep knowing you've made it through the day.

7) Smile softly to yourself. A little tiny grin can bring a little peace and stability. Take deep breaths and exhale, which puts your entire mind and body into a relaxed state. A smile always brings comfort.

I understand how difficult it may seem to incorporate some of these elements into your life. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

As always, please share your own feelings and insights in the comments. I’d also really appreciate it if you Like our page and share this post with others who might benefit. The more momentum we have, the more people of this world we can help.

Fill the void and keep those feet moving.

AJ Coleman